BV: So I had a long chat about beards with Luke Kuechly last week and he thinks yours the best on the team. But I think (Mike) Remmers' is the best.

RK: I disagree with that.

BV: Why?

RK: Well, What's your criteria on beards?

BV: Luke's criteria is yours is nicely formed. Mine? I really like "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," so I dig the Yukon Cornelius look.

@BlackBlueReview Mike Remmers: Around the holidays, do kids ever call him Yukon Cornelius? pic.twitter.com/uQeCpXtGDN

— SalesMan (@95KeepPounding) September 29, 2016

RK: Here's what I'll say about Mike's beard, and we've had this conversation before. I think the length is amazing. I'm a big fan of the color. My only thing — and (Andrew) Norwell does this, too — one of my biggest pet peeves is they do the short mustache with the long beard, and I'm not a fan of that.

(Remmers, Kalil's locker neighbor, chimes in)

MR: You've gotta be able to eat.

RK: The length of your mustache should grow with the length of your beard. Otherwise, it looks weird.

BV: But as Mike said, if it's really long, you can't eat.

RK: You can. You just have to get past the awkward stage and you start brushing to the side. That's what a real beard looks like.

MR: Norwell has a way shorter mustache than mine.

RK: His is way thinner. It's just weird. What happens is, especially with Norwell, you start looking Amish and it's just not a good look.

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BV: I told Luke I thought you kept yours clean because you had a deal with your wife.

RK: Yeah, but you can grow the beard longer and still keep it clean and groomed. You just have to have the right mustache to go with it. There's more maintenance that goes with the mustache because, obviously, as it grows longer with your beard, it covers your lips. So you've got to part it. You can use wax. It's definitely a lifestyle. Brett Keisel is a perfect example. Think about how long his beard was and look how epic his mustache was with the beard.

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BV: So there's almost a science to it?

RK: I don't know if there's science, but there's definitely some experience that goes along with it.

BV: It's not as easy as saying, "Hey, I'm going to grow a beard today"?

RK: Well, it is. Genetics play a big part in a beard. One of the reasons why Luke's so envious is because he doesn't have the genes to grow a beard. But he doesn't need to. He's Luke Kuechly.

BV: Who has a good beard on this team, then?

RK: Greg Olsen.

BV: His was good last year.

RK: It was amazing. That's an example of a guy who doesn't shave the mustache. If he's letting the beard grow out, he lets the mustache grow with the length of the beard. You don't do it in stages.

 

 

BV: Why haven't beard sponsors gotten into the NFL?

RK: Because facial hair trends go in phases. Right now it's a huge hipster thing. So there will be products and things now, but once that goes away, once the hipsters decide the trend's done with, that'll go away. Then the real champions of beards — the guys who make it a lifestyle — it'll continue to be around.